I want to *beep* you like an animal

I start my new job in four days. Four measly little days until I begin the best job in the WORLD. At least it's the best job in the world to me. Screw all you guys who think finance and accounting are boring. It's the coolest whatchmabob ever. But this also means that I have one more day of I want to pull out all my hair and choke you with it while hacking my arms off with the staple remover temp job hell. I enjoyed my job at Kmart providing customer service to old people who shit their pants better than what I am doing right now. I found out they were going to offer me a permanent position. I would have laughed in their faces before running away screaming like a wildwoman.

Last weekend I traveled the roads to the wild U.P. to visit my parents and chill in my old habitat. Perhaps the most entertaining thing I did all weekend was go out to Hurley and observe the populations of white trash dressed up for Halloween. The only problem? For the most part I couldn't tell who was wearing a costume and who wasn't. I spent the majority of the evening shrieking and pointing at the various rejects occupying the bars.

I brought my vast collection of musical instruments and sheet music back to my apartment. I need to get back into my music again. I have a piano, guitar, and of COURSE, my clarinet. I know how to play my clarinet obscenely well (yes I am vain and I don't give a shit) but I've forever wanted to learn the guitar and piano. I can read music and everything, I just need to learn how to work my fingers! My grandpa gave me his guitar right before he passed away so I really really want to learn to play. Any suggestions?

My parents may travel down here this weekend to visit me. They may even spend the night! This is a first. I'm not sure how to react. Should I clean? Does it matter? Do I give them my bed and I'll sleep on the couch (but will they not want to sleep on my bed because they think I have wild sex on it, which face it, I do)? Do I need to cook for them? How do I go about entertaining my parents? Ahhhh.......I'm excited about it though. It will be their first little vacation in forever. Actually since we went to Florida when I was 14. I want to make sure they have a good time and really enjoy themselves because they deserve it.

PS--anyone else notice that the casual business wear at Walmart isn't all that bad? It's damn cheap and looks like the crap I get at the more expensive stores. I'm going to spend an entire paycheck there in new work clothes! I don't give a flying rat's behind what you all think about it, either. Muhahahahaha....if I didn't tell you I was wearing Walmart shit, you'd never know anyway.