Seagull Shite

Dusty and I went exploring all day yesterday. It was so sunny and beautiful out that we couldn't help ourselves. We hopped in the truck and headed first to Presque Isle Point which was GORGEOUS. I felt like I was on a tropical island; minus the warm water, palm trees, and jellyfish, plus the pine trees, frigid water, and yooper-hicks.It was more beautiful than words can describe. We took bunches of cute pictures but of course Dusty's camera malfunctioned so we no longer have them.

Then we headed off to Big Bay, which was a huge disapointment. I was picturing a nice, quaint little tourist town. What we got was a conglomeration of trailer houses with strange roofs built over them along with a gas station/diner that only serves food when it wants to.

When we finally made our treck back to the thriving metropolis that is Marquette, Dusty assembled us a nice sack lunch to take to the park. We found a nice little table to set lunch at.

CAW CAW!

Then the first bastard white seagull came flying towards us. He looked at us with his beady little yellow eyes.

CAWWWWWWWW! He growled at the air.

All of a sudden we were swarmed with the disgusting shite-birds. Oh, how I wished I had an entire bottle of Alka-Seltzer so I could watch the damn things flap and shiver away until their very last breath. I absolutely hate those vile flying creatures.

Did I ever mention that I have been shat upon twice by a shit-gull? Here is the chilling tale of liquid shit horror:

Back when I was a chilly-poo I was minding my own business while wandering around Mackinaw Island. I felt a sudden went warmness spreading down my back. My mother screamed when she saw the sticky mess on my cute t-shirt. She quickly pushed me towards the bathrooms.

SPLAT!!

Warm oozing white goo hit my forehead and quickly went into my eyes and down my nose. I screamed with the fierceness of a donkey in heat. Bystanders were frozen in silenced horror at the shit-covered scene in front of them. For it was a smally chilly-poo covered in seagull shit.