Sausage Fingers
I was in the checkout line at Walmart today trying to make a purchase of some cold medications and a new printer cartridge. I recognized the cashier from a month or so ago because she has the biggest sausage-like fingers I've ever seen on a woman. She also likes to wear excessive amounts of hair clips on any given day while working at Walmart. Apparently three hair clips helps keep her non-existant hair out of her face. But I digress.
She scanned my items and I took out my handy Discover Card. Now I've had problems with this card at Walmart before. Every single time I use it, it always shows up as "Invalid Bank Card". Every single time this happens, I have to tell the cashier that a Discover card is in fact, NOT a bank card. I usually get returned with blank looks until I force them to swipe the card on their own credit card machine.
The same thing happened today. I swiped my Discover card and sure enough, "invalid bank card" pops up on the screen. The sausage-finger lady asks me to use a different form of payment.
Now, usually they don't do this. So I reply with NO, I'm using this CREDIT CARD. It's not a BANK card. Sausage-finger's reply is to "swipe it lighter, don't push down hard on it." Ok, what the fuck ever. I'll swipe my card through the reader as light as a feather.
Yet again, it comes up as "invalid bank card". She again tells me to use a different form of payment. By this point I am really pissed off. I contemplate repeatedly smashing her face off of the cash register but manage to refrain.
I ask her politely to swipe the card through her machine because the credit card reader on my side doesn't read my card properly. She goes on to tell me that "you have to swipe the card more lightly and it will read correctly".
APPARENTLY the credit card readers at Walmart can tell if I have a BANK card or not by how much pressure I apply while swiping my card.
I casually yanked her hair clips out, grabbed her fingers, and clipped her fingers to her own ass. Now this my friends, is how one manages to become an
ASSHAT!
She scanned my items and I took out my handy Discover Card. Now I've had problems with this card at Walmart before. Every single time I use it, it always shows up as "Invalid Bank Card". Every single time this happens, I have to tell the cashier that a Discover card is in fact, NOT a bank card. I usually get returned with blank looks until I force them to swipe the card on their own credit card machine.
The same thing happened today. I swiped my Discover card and sure enough, "invalid bank card" pops up on the screen. The sausage-finger lady asks me to use a different form of payment.
Now, usually they don't do this. So I reply with NO, I'm using this CREDIT CARD. It's not a BANK card. Sausage-finger's reply is to "swipe it lighter, don't push down hard on it." Ok, what the fuck ever. I'll swipe my card through the reader as light as a feather.
Yet again, it comes up as "invalid bank card". She again tells me to use a different form of payment. By this point I am really pissed off. I contemplate repeatedly smashing her face off of the cash register but manage to refrain.
I ask her politely to swipe the card through her machine because the credit card reader on my side doesn't read my card properly. She goes on to tell me that "you have to swipe the card more lightly and it will read correctly".
APPARENTLY the credit card readers at Walmart can tell if I have a BANK card or not by how much pressure I apply while swiping my card.
I casually yanked her hair clips out, grabbed her fingers, and clipped her fingers to her own ass. Now this my friends, is how one manages to become an
ASSHAT!
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