Dumbass

I know that I boasted earlier about my incredible skills to learn things easily and have a vast knowledge of crap that I usually don't care about. I retract that statement 100% now.

I have been struggling so incredibly hard studying for this Series 7 exam with no avail yet. I have yet to get a passing grade on any of the practice quizzes. It's so frustrating to see hours upon hours of studying, reading, and note taking come to nothing but a blank screen that repeatedly says "sorry, you have failed this time".

I have gotten dumber, I will admit to that. I've changed dramatically since my illness and hospitalization. My memory is gone, especially short term memory and comprehension skills. I can no longer spell. In fact, usually I have to ask Dusty how to spell several words a day. I can't concentrate and trying to actually learn something is one of the hardest things that I can do. Needless to say, trying to memorize all of the information in an 868 page book about general securities jargon will be the most difficult thing I will do this year. I guarantee it.

Perhaps this field of finance isn't something that I am cut out for anymore. I was smart enough before I got sick to master this information without a sweat. I'm not sure if I'm smart enough anymore. It's a very daunting feeling knowing that everything that you have worked towards may come to a crashing halt. Maybe it's time to change direction and find a field that isn't so fucking hard.