Suggestions For Friends From a Friend
I had a blast last night. First off Katie, Ruppe, Dusty, and I went ice skating. That was sure was an adventure. My physical strength has been so depleted that I was ready to lay down after maybe 10 laps around the rink. It's depressing in a way, but I think to myself--I've only been out of the hospital for a month and a half!! I have many weeks of recuperation left. I can't be an expert ice skater at this time.
I did manage to fall once. OUTSIDE THE RINK. I got my skates off and me on my wobbly legs planted a good one out in the parking lot. Let me tell you, my stomach did NOT enjoy that jolt. Nor did my bony knees that are now black and blue.
Then Katie bought Cranium and we headed off to Dusty's house. Tim, JJ, and Kayla also joined in with the games. It was so much fun! I haven't had that much fun with a bunch of friends in a long time. I'm not much of a player, though I do have a talent for one thing--laughing insanely during almost the entire game.
I've also come to the realization this weekend that LIFE IS FRICKIN GOOD. I've been down for so long, sick and sore for too damn long, and worried about where my life is going. Sure, I may not live to see 30 (in case I haven't told you...) but right now I have a wonderful family, awesome friends, a wonderful man, and I can have fun in this life if I want to. I just have to make the best of everything.
I can across this list in the Daily Globe. I really liked it and thought I would share it with everyone. I have recieved alot of questions, blank faces, and quite frankly, alot of ignoring due to my illness. The ones who I thought would support me the most haven't been there. Perhaps out of fear or guilt or whatever, I don't know. But this may help in the long run. (I didn't copy word for word, but I took out parts I liked)
Suggestions to help friends in need:
One of life's most difficult moments is when you fine yourself talking to a friend or family member who informs who that he or she is seriously, or terminally, ill. When you find yourself in these situations it's common to be overwhelmed with self-consciousness. You don't know what to say or how to respond. The fear of "not knowing" can prevent you from giving the love and support that your friend needs the most. Here are some suggestions.
-Be honest with me. I can tell when your feelings or actions are insecure.
-Laugh with me, cry with me. Allow me to express intense emotions.
-Don't feel sorry for me. Your understanding helps preserve my dignity and pride.
-Touch me. I want to be accepted despite the way I may look. Inside, I'm still the same person you always knew.
-Let me talk about my illness if I want to. Talking helps me work through my feelings.
-Le me be silent if I want to. Sometimes I don't have much energy and I may just want your silent companionship. Your presence alone can be comforting.
-Space your visits and calls. Consistent support is very helpful.
-Support my family. I may be very sick, but they too are suffering. Let them express their grief.
-Offer to help me with simple chores. Routine jobs are often difficult to accomplish.
-CONTINUE TO BE MY FRIEND. DON'T LET ILLNESS OVERSHADOW ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE'VE SHARED. I know this is hard for you too.
For me one of the hardest things I've had to endure is lack of people supporting me. I'm sure that most people didn't even believe that I was as sick as I was. I am still very sick and cannot physically do the same things I used to. I put on a happy face and try my hardest, but inside it's a difficult journey every day. People who I thought were my friends turned their backs on me during the time I needed them the most. I even had a couple yell at me for not calling them while I was laying in the hospital dying. I had roomates who had people over every single night I was in the hospital, yet when I got home, not a soul would come to visit me except for one person. (Shorty, I love ya, kid!) I had to struggle with washing dishes or cleaning toilets when it took all of my strength to do so; it still does.
Kids, a simple gesture means so much. I won't be the only person in your life who will become seriously ill. Don't turn your backs on them. Don't quit being their friends because they can't get "wasted" with you or provide your entertainment. Don't judge them for an illness they can't help. But worst of all, don't become silent and forget who they really were.
To all the ones who have supported me along the way with cute stuffed animals in the hospital, cards, conversations, and simply acting normal around me, I THANK YOU. You know who you are. You are the best.
ENOUGH BEING ALL SERIOUS N SHIT! Frisky is snoring and it's driving me batty. And isn't everyone happy about the snow?!?! It's so freaking beautiful. I've got to start waxing my skiis and getting ready to hit the slopes with Katie. Waa-hoo!
I did manage to fall once. OUTSIDE THE RINK. I got my skates off and me on my wobbly legs planted a good one out in the parking lot. Let me tell you, my stomach did NOT enjoy that jolt. Nor did my bony knees that are now black and blue.
Then Katie bought Cranium and we headed off to Dusty's house. Tim, JJ, and Kayla also joined in with the games. It was so much fun! I haven't had that much fun with a bunch of friends in a long time. I'm not much of a player, though I do have a talent for one thing--laughing insanely during almost the entire game.
I've also come to the realization this weekend that LIFE IS FRICKIN GOOD. I've been down for so long, sick and sore for too damn long, and worried about where my life is going. Sure, I may not live to see 30 (in case I haven't told you...) but right now I have a wonderful family, awesome friends, a wonderful man, and I can have fun in this life if I want to. I just have to make the best of everything.
I can across this list in the Daily Globe. I really liked it and thought I would share it with everyone. I have recieved alot of questions, blank faces, and quite frankly, alot of ignoring due to my illness. The ones who I thought would support me the most haven't been there. Perhaps out of fear or guilt or whatever, I don't know. But this may help in the long run. (I didn't copy word for word, but I took out parts I liked)
Suggestions to help friends in need:
One of life's most difficult moments is when you fine yourself talking to a friend or family member who informs who that he or she is seriously, or terminally, ill. When you find yourself in these situations it's common to be overwhelmed with self-consciousness. You don't know what to say or how to respond. The fear of "not knowing" can prevent you from giving the love and support that your friend needs the most. Here are some suggestions.
-Be honest with me. I can tell when your feelings or actions are insecure.
-Laugh with me, cry with me. Allow me to express intense emotions.
-Don't feel sorry for me. Your understanding helps preserve my dignity and pride.
-Touch me. I want to be accepted despite the way I may look. Inside, I'm still the same person you always knew.
-Let me talk about my illness if I want to. Talking helps me work through my feelings.
-Le me be silent if I want to. Sometimes I don't have much energy and I may just want your silent companionship. Your presence alone can be comforting.
-Space your visits and calls. Consistent support is very helpful.
-Support my family. I may be very sick, but they too are suffering. Let them express their grief.
-Offer to help me with simple chores. Routine jobs are often difficult to accomplish.
-CONTINUE TO BE MY FRIEND. DON'T LET ILLNESS OVERSHADOW ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE'VE SHARED. I know this is hard for you too.
For me one of the hardest things I've had to endure is lack of people supporting me. I'm sure that most people didn't even believe that I was as sick as I was. I am still very sick and cannot physically do the same things I used to. I put on a happy face and try my hardest, but inside it's a difficult journey every day. People who I thought were my friends turned their backs on me during the time I needed them the most. I even had a couple yell at me for not calling them while I was laying in the hospital dying. I had roomates who had people over every single night I was in the hospital, yet when I got home, not a soul would come to visit me except for one person. (Shorty, I love ya, kid!) I had to struggle with washing dishes or cleaning toilets when it took all of my strength to do so; it still does.
Kids, a simple gesture means so much. I won't be the only person in your life who will become seriously ill. Don't turn your backs on them. Don't quit being their friends because they can't get "wasted" with you or provide your entertainment. Don't judge them for an illness they can't help. But worst of all, don't become silent and forget who they really were.
To all the ones who have supported me along the way with cute stuffed animals in the hospital, cards, conversations, and simply acting normal around me, I THANK YOU. You know who you are. You are the best.
ENOUGH BEING ALL SERIOUS N SHIT! Frisky is snoring and it's driving me batty. And isn't everyone happy about the snow?!?! It's so freaking beautiful. I've got to start waxing my skiis and getting ready to hit the slopes with Katie. Waa-hoo!
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