Hitting the Town While Sober
I attended the infamous mustache party on wednesday night. You'll have to check out Dusty's blog for the pictures later on. Don't count on it being anytime soon! I had alot of fun at that. I played some poker and lost of course since I suck really bad. I enjoyed my diet cola while the boys drank out of their foamy keg. Oh, did that beer look refreshing. My hand kept straying towards a glass, but everytime it did, my hand just got slapped away. Alas, I continued to consume my cola.
Then everyone headed out to Hurley. Woo-hoo. Sense my enthusiasm for such a classy place. I ran into almost every single person from high school that I didn't want to see. I got quite a few odd looks--how horrid of me to show up on their turf! See kids, I giggle and chuckle inside everytime I come home because guess who all the alcholics are who are stuck in that god forbidden town? OH YEAH! The damn jocks who made fun of me in high school; the "popular" crowd, the COOL kids. Gee, I sure wish I was JUST like them. *SNORTS AT THE THOUGHT* Yup, sure am jealous of that lifestyle.
What a bunch of kooks.
I've complied a list of advantages and disadvantages of hitting the town while sober. Now kids, don't get TOO offended here.
Advantages:
1) People will ALWAYS buy you a cola. People buying you a beer on the other hand--doesn't happen often or EVER.
2) You can laugh at how stupid people are. Really insanely stupid.
3) You will never have to worry about being hungover the next morning. In fact, I was awake by 9 a.m.
4) NOT having to sit on those grody pee stained toilet seats multiple times a night.
5) Running into people that you don't like, having a sober conversation with them, thinking "holy crap you're fucking STUPID", accidently say it out loud, but they don't hear you because they are so drunk and ask "what?" You reply with "I'd like to bash your face in" and they STILL don't hear you, but give you a big hug instead.
6) Never having to worry about a ride home.
Disadvantages:
1) Drunk people STINK. They just reek and don't even realize it.
2) You will hear the same exact story at least 10 times in the same night. And then again the next day--just with many embelishments.
3) You cannot stand in a bar without getting shoved by everyone who walks by. Even if there is a HUGE space for them to walk through, they will still run into you.
4) The half dressed whores who whore all over themselves and gross men. "Ooops! Oh no, my boobs fell out!" Yup, witnessed that one too many times.
5) The fights because everyone thinks they are He-Man and She-Woman.
6) Having to cram a bunch of drunkies into my car after bar. If you're going to get drunk and ask me for a ride, DON'T expect me to drive MY car assholes. I'll drive yours and see how much you like it in the morning when it's trashed, food bits are scattered all over it, and it smells like old beer.
I'll add more when I can think of more. Moral of the story kids: appreciate the sober ones because they go through hell just so that you can have fun. And JEEZ! Give them some damn gas money! Buy them a soda! Don't be jerks with your heads up your anus. (Thanks to Dusty and Ruppe who were so kind to buy me 2 diet colas)
Then everyone headed out to Hurley. Woo-hoo. Sense my enthusiasm for such a classy place. I ran into almost every single person from high school that I didn't want to see. I got quite a few odd looks--how horrid of me to show up on their turf! See kids, I giggle and chuckle inside everytime I come home because guess who all the alcholics are who are stuck in that god forbidden town? OH YEAH! The damn jocks who made fun of me in high school; the "popular" crowd, the COOL kids. Gee, I sure wish I was JUST like them. *SNORTS AT THE THOUGHT* Yup, sure am jealous of that lifestyle.
What a bunch of kooks.
I've complied a list of advantages and disadvantages of hitting the town while sober. Now kids, don't get TOO offended here.
Advantages:
1) People will ALWAYS buy you a cola. People buying you a beer on the other hand--doesn't happen often or EVER.
2) You can laugh at how stupid people are. Really insanely stupid.
3) You will never have to worry about being hungover the next morning. In fact, I was awake by 9 a.m.
4) NOT having to sit on those grody pee stained toilet seats multiple times a night.
5) Running into people that you don't like, having a sober conversation with them, thinking "holy crap you're fucking STUPID", accidently say it out loud, but they don't hear you because they are so drunk and ask "what?" You reply with "I'd like to bash your face in" and they STILL don't hear you, but give you a big hug instead.
6) Never having to worry about a ride home.
Disadvantages:
1) Drunk people STINK. They just reek and don't even realize it.
2) You will hear the same exact story at least 10 times in the same night. And then again the next day--just with many embelishments.
3) You cannot stand in a bar without getting shoved by everyone who walks by. Even if there is a HUGE space for them to walk through, they will still run into you.
4) The half dressed whores who whore all over themselves and gross men. "Ooops! Oh no, my boobs fell out!" Yup, witnessed that one too many times.
5) The fights because everyone thinks they are He-Man and She-Woman.
6) Having to cram a bunch of drunkies into my car after bar. If you're going to get drunk and ask me for a ride, DON'T expect me to drive MY car assholes. I'll drive yours and see how much you like it in the morning when it's trashed, food bits are scattered all over it, and it smells like old beer.
I'll add more when I can think of more. Moral of the story kids: appreciate the sober ones because they go through hell just so that you can have fun. And JEEZ! Give them some damn gas money! Buy them a soda! Don't be jerks with your heads up your anus. (Thanks to Dusty and Ruppe who were so kind to buy me 2 diet colas)
COMMENTS